The very demanding mother-in-law.
“My mother-in-law asked us if we could reschedule our wedding closer to step brother’s so she could come into town once for both. Our date was booked a year previously during the time of the request.”
The hungry grandmother.
“While my wife and I were taking pictures with guests and some were still getting their meal, my grandmother cut our wedding cake and began serving it. We never even saw what it looked like.”
The unfashionably late couple.
“A couple showed up at the reception too late for the dinner, it was already over, so they went into the restaurant of the hotel and charged their meals to the wedding party.”
The plus-one’s plus-one.
“My best man’s plus-one (who was essentially a long-term fuck buddy) asked if she could bring her own plus-one since the best man would be doing best man things all day and she didn’t know anyone. My wife and I respectfully declined this request.”
The handsy mom.
“I’m a wedding photographer. Last year, the mother of the bride wanted the DJ to help her play a game at the reception. The game was this: The bride sits blindfolded on a chair, while the groom and groomsmen circle around her. She then has to feel their junk and guess which one is the groom. The DJ was inexperienced, but had minimal enough common sense to come ask for my professional opinion. I told him if he wanted to keep his job, he would never in a million years do that, and if the MOB comes back, he needed to keep conveniently forgetting about it.”
The exploding guest list.
“When my cousin and her husband were planning on getting married they wanted a small wedding. Something like 40 to 50 people. Both her mother and future mother-in-law weren’t having that, and took it upon themselves to invite everyone and anyone they could. The guest list quickly shot up to around 700 people. The couple ended up changing the venue to somewhere way out of state to cut down the guest list and have the smallish wedding they wanted.”
The overzealous sister-in-law.
“My sister-in-law showed up the night before the wedding and tried to redecorate. She said the decorations were trashy and that she didn’t like the caterers or the location. She actually tried to convince my wife and I to fake a break up so that she could re-plan the entire wedding.”
The great aunt who just wanted a ride.
“My great aunt called my bride and asked her to come pick her up from the airport…four hours before the wedding. Taxis are a thing, Aunt Pearl!”
The directionless guests.
“It was the handful of guests who couldn’t be bothered to retain the address and directions that were provided to them several times via US mail, email, and internet link. And, who finally, when all that failed, needed to text me repeatedly to get clarifications on the directions instead of just using fucking Google. You know how busy a person is on their wedding day? I had more important things to do than answer texts about which exit to take.”
The pre-prenatal sister-in-law.
“My brother’s wife asked me to postpone the wedding ‘a year or two’ because she was going to try to get pregnant the following year.”
The virgin grandmothers.
“My grandmas (both of them) left the room when we did our toasts because we used actual champagne. We offered the non-alcoholic sparkling juice stuff for them, but that was not acceptable because it LOOKED like alcohol. They were so offended that we were drinking they refused to participate and returned once the toasts were done.”
The traditional aunt.
“We were engaged for six months and wanted our guests to have the maximum amount of time to have our wedding date on their calendar, so we used online invitations only. My aunt, who I have met 2-3 times, emailed me to inform me that she would not be attending because it must not be that important if we couldn’t bother to send a ‘real’ invitation. I responded, ‘OK’.”
The drunk as a skunk coworker.
“My wedding, [my] drunk, fucker of a coworker swiped his finger through our wedding cake for a taste before we even cut it.”
The picture-happy bridesmaid.
“One of the bridesmaids brought her fiancé to the wedding, and wanted our photographer to do an impromptu engagement photo shoot. The photographer laughed in her face.”
The picky eaters.
“We asked people to let us know if they had any allergies or religious dietary requirements. Some people came back to us with preferences of ingredients they didn’t like — a fact that became quite obvious after I had to clarify how serious the allergy was and if other related ingredients might cause an issue…”
The insensitive coworker.
“One of our co-workers brought my ex-boyfriend. We only had about 20 people there.”
And the world’s biggest Nine Inch Nails fan.
“I had a friend call me after he received his invitation asking me to reschedule the wedding because he already bought ticket to a NIN concert the same day.”
Some submissions were edited for length/clarity.